Sadly, I have no plausible excuse to offer her. My wife is encouraging me to pursue this mad affair with fitness, claiming that only benefits to my well-being and our relationship can result. I am so tempted and yet, when I pick up the phone to call
Yes, friend, the OGWND hides many dark and loathsome secrets in his breast. One of these secrets is a former membership in another fitness facility. Each morning I would rise before dawn and go to "the club." I quickly fell into a routine that, while not conducive to fitness, was nonetheless a very enjoyable way to start the day. First the steam room, then a shave, then the sauna, a cold shower, another steam followed by a cleansing shower. By the time I was done I was limp as a rag, every bit of phlegm had been expelled from my lungs and I was ready for my Starbucks coffee and cinnamon scone.
The only blemish on this otherwise perfect start to the day was Grant. Grant was a heavily muscled Asian power lifter who did double duty at the club as personal trainer and front counter guy. Every morning he would flip me two towels with a questioning look that said "working out today you pathetic tubby weakling?" Then, on my way, out he would almost perceptibly shake his head in disgust. I don't know if
I am still casting about for a real good excuse to give
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sandy on Line One
She called. Every good spy calls back. The voice mail she left tossed out the either/or question of whether I had called and/or whether she had missed my call. Ironically, my fitness level has increased tremendously since I started walking two blocks out of my way to avoid passing the fitness club and possibly encountering Sandy or one of her fellow employees who are undoubtedly carrying my photo with orders to "be on the look out for."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Mrs. OG needs to accompany you to the fitness club! Mr. Yak is able to offer her an online course on shaming your spouse to get off their lazy butt and go kicking and screaming to the gym.
He's also a master at informing me that after just skipping that fourth helping of chips and dip - he managed to drop 7 pounds! He's SUCH an inspiration!
Mrs. Yak
That would be fun! They say having a workout partner keeps you motivated. They (whoever they are) also say boxing is a good workout. Sandy's club has a boxing room. Maybe they could provide some really skinny people that we could take turns punching.
Now THAT would motivate me!
Mrs. Yak
Try balancing a regime of thrice weekly workouts with a personal trainer (no less), 1 1/2 glasses of 2000 Fife Cabernet Reserve per night, an occassional, yet insane inhalation of tobacco with more than 1,000 dreadful chemicals each one worse than the next one, mad-passionate love making no less than once each month and the care and feeding of an elderly animal...I forgot where I was going with all this, but I enjoyed getting it off of my chest!
The second we moved to Fullerton, my lovely wife joined 24-Hour Fitness. She has been going 6-days a week, works with a personal trainer and works out from at least 9AM-Noon.
I'm pretty sure she wants to pound me.
Mia and I joined a Gold's Gym before we moved to beautiful suburban Caledonia. We had a personal trainer set up our workouts. His name was Angelo and he was a former high school coach, a little older than I. He was very helpful...to Mia. I couldn't believe the nerve of the guy! He even told me what great legs she has! Maybe that was his way of motivating me? Mia thought he was sweet! Oh, sure!
My dear OG, if the lovely Mrs. OG goes with you, please watch out. I know I sound paranoid and I know you think I live in a fantasy world but here's my question: If you KNOW they're out there, are you still paranoid?
If her legs ARE lovely, are you still paranoid?
Post a Comment