She assured me that every member of their team was devoted to my health and fitness. We toured the club, side by side, as she pointed out the state-of-the-art equipment and described the various exercise classes and strongly recommended that I work one on one with one of their personal trainers. The place was clean and the shower/locker rooms were immaculate. Plasma screens, Bloomberg terminals and web access (in case over-exertion should move me to blog) were conveniently placed around the facility. The pungent smells of sweat and bleach mingled with the herbal fragrance she wore. Growing weaker by the minute, I was falling hopelessly under her get-fit spell.
In the end I told her that I would have to think about it and I left to buy some lunch – a PB&J on wheat with a grape soda. Poor
If anyone can refer me to a health club where the staff are all obese and elderly I am ready to join.
7 comments:
Very cute story, sad , but oh so true....how can you get into shape to look good to the other gym and fitness buffs, if you can't show your true self...But you really must know that the business suit doesn't really hide that much....and your true friends will love you anyway. But that cute young girl who showed you around..well that's another story.
Getting into shape before joining a fitness club is like cleaning your house before the maid comes! We're all a mess! Thanks be to God that Jesus didn't make me clean up first!
Sandy is a spy.
Do you think Betsy and Sandy are in cahoots?
I'm surprised you haven't visited a Smoking Christian Heath & Fitness™ Club yet. There must be one near your home or office. All of our trained staff fit your strict criteria. Yet, we try to have one ambulatory instructor at each location in case somebody has to make a quick beer run.
There are ashtrays everywhere. The cocktail waitresses are unusually friendly, considering their advanced ages and chronic drinking problems. Please take advantage of our discount for people who can prove they only have six months to live.
Are Betsy and Sandy in cahoots? My dear friend, it is like trying to state the obvious to the obviously oblivious! You have two different women clearly trying to make you fall to their feminine wiles. What are the odds of that happening without a conspiracy? (Not that you're grossly unattractive. Perhaps you've always had women falling all over you.) I know if that happened to me I would be certain of a government plot to entrap me! Like I said before, just ask your wife! She knows these things!
Shilohman - I get the feeling that you are trying to live vicariously through an imaginary life that I do not actually have. But maybe I will have such a life once I get in shape at the Smoking Christian Heath & Fitness™ Club.
By the way, I discussed Sandy with my wife and she agreed that, like some brokers and some pastors, Sandy was only looking for a commission.
This is the best bit of humor I have read in a long time!!!
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