Westmont Receives
$75 Million Gift
An anonymous donor has given $75 million to Westmont, the second largest gift ever for a national liberal arts college. Westmont Chancellor David K. Winter announced the gift on Friday, Oct. 27.
“Dudes, this is totally momentous news,” Winter said. “It will enable us to totally endow the Pete Mallory chair in the School of Surfing and provide totally rad boards free of charge to every student who wants to hang ten. We may never be the Harvard of Evangelical Education but this student body can match the bodies at any other institution tan for tan and thong for thong. Cowabunga!"
The anonymous donor wishes to be recognized only as a friend of the college who does not hold a grudge for being expelled from the campus before completing his education at UCSB. "When I was at Westmont," so says this generous benefactor, "I used to tell incoming freshmen that I was a combination Business & Bible major. I would tell them I planned on making a fortune off of the Gospel. That didn't pan out so I went into advertising and although I am now unemployed, I made a killing off the sale of my home in Pacific Palisades. If I kept the $75 million for myself, I would only squander it on cigarettes."
10 comments:
Thinly veiled is the expression that comes to my mind (as I sadly watch our government being turned over to Nancy Pelosi, she scares me) as I read your story about Westmont, the Berkeley of Christian West Coast Christianity. You have taken a random act of generosity on the part of the SC and made it into a pubic spectacle, or public, whatever. The SC was simply looking for a tax write off as he currently does not have a mortgage deduction. I have more to say, but I have to run over to the TV and listen proudly to our actor/governor give his acceptance speech.
A truely momentous gift from a wonderful human being! Thanks for sharing.
Are we sure it was the SC?
Please use your considerable powers of searching the blabosphere to confirm this so we might esteem him in the manner he so richly expects. I will personally send him a six pack of Leinenkugel and a bottle of Extra-strength Zoloft.
I am seriously disappointed in the sheer waste involved here! Even more money given to help kids work on their tans and ride waves! Do you people have no consciences? What about Darfur? What about Sudan? Do you only think of yourselves? Consider how many cartons of Camel straights and how many cases of Annie Green Springs could have been sent to the needy. (Typical Republican self-centeredness!)
Don Rumsfeld and I are going out for Lienekugels later. Anyone care to join us?
With all my heart!
Will John Bolton be joining us?
Dear Mr. OGG,
your memory never ceases to amaze me. I probably would never write these horrible yet horribly true things about myself if I ever thought anyone was actually reading them, let alone remembering them.
That being said, now, several little skin cancer operations later, I wish I'd gone to Wheaton. I still have nightmares about the time the Wheaton Choir came to Westmont. Nobody warned us to wear protective sunglasses before we were forced to look directly at the WHITEST people who ever sang a hym in public. I was blinded for three days and had to be led around to my various dive bars and hashish dens by young Christian volunteers. I never knew that Wheaton was so close to the North Pole that it didn't see the sun for months at a time. That must have been depressing. And might explain your incredible student alcholic rate, many have compared to that of modern Russia, where the new life expectency for the average male is reported to be only 14!
As for Mr. Dunhill's as usual well off the mark comment concerning the
people of Dafur, I can only paraphrase the Bible verse which clearly implies, 'The poor ye shall have always. But the Smoking Christian is only here for lunch!'
Thank you for giving me this forum in which to reiterate my penchant for a cold twelve-pak of Leinenkugel with a Zoloft-laced chaser of Old Crow Whiskey! Good night Gracie!
This is a true story:
The SC and I joined our mom for lunch yesterday at a retirement home. One that she has been checking out for many, many years with no desire whatsoever of moving there...
Anyway, during our lunch one of the women at our table said, "have you heard about the large gift that Westmont just received?".
The SC and I looked at each other as if to say..."no way!!, how could they even know about OG's blog"...
Thank you for the warm welcome into the group. I am not in your league by any stretch but I'll try to keep up!
Oggie, do I have to shame you into another post? Oh please don't make me do that!
Hey Mr. Og,
Impress me with your incredible wit and genius by posting something!
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