A Short Red Leather Skirt

and a short red leather jacket to match. That’s what she wore as she entered the New Orleans. I had been sitting with Tessa and Sam, yakking, laughing, sipping a local brew and enjoying the zydeco. À propos of nothing, it was Tessa I had originally had some interest in, but that was before I knew that Sam was headed in her direction. Sam and I shared office space and, well, a good smoke as the saying goes. Less than two years later I would perform Tessa and Sam’s wedding ceremony and they remain, to this day, happily married.

I do not remember her name. She was tall. That and her almost-platinum blonde hair garnered her more than a few second looks. I cannot remember her face, only an aura that was what – closed, cold, nervous, unapproachable? She was Tessa’s friend and Tessa thought we should meet. Another blind date.

At least I had some support on this one. But the yakking and laughing temporarily gave way to a stilted question and answer session. I felt like a dentist trying to extract a painful molar sans anesthesia. There was so much strangeness during that period of my life that this seemed just one more surreal experience that I could blog about later in life. Thankfully, good beer and good company prevailed and soon Sam, Tessa and I were yakking and laughing as SRLS smiled and nodded. The seafood etouffee was excellent (as always).

After dinner we took a stroll around Pioneer Square, before piling into Tessa’s Subaru for a drive to the Famous Pacific Dessert Company. Each table had a box of Baby Boomer Trivial Pursuit cards, and I proceeded to quiz the three of them since I literally knew all the answers. That was when it became apparent that I was running with the wrong crowd, a frog among tadpoles. How can you have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn’t share any of the trivia of your youth? Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings? I resolved then and there never again to date anyone more than 12 years younger than me.

Dessert was over and, thankfully, I lived in the opposite direction so they dropped me at my car and Tessa and Sam would drive SRLS home. I cheerfully proclaimed the evening to be “fun” and told SRLS that it was nice getting to know her. I scrupulously avoided any mention of “we’ll have to do this again.” Being a guy, I figured that mine was the next move, and that was a move I was not going to make. SRLS was not my type, but more importantly I did not need any additional work to do.

Imagine my surprise when the phone in my office rang two days later and SRLS was on the other end of the line. It seems she had great time the other night and wondered if I wanted to get together. I hate to disappoint people, even people I don’t care that much about; it’s one of my many character flaws. So we agreed to meet for a movie and dinner the next weekend. Movies are great, especially with someone who is not easy to talk to. I still can’t remember her name but the movie was Cyrano de Bergerac starring Gérard Depardieu. We had dinner at Duke’s, my regular hangout. I notified the staff earlier that day so whenever there was a lull in our conversation, someone would come and sit down to chit chat.

What I learned about SRLS was that she was just coming off a long-term relationship that ended badly and that she was finding it difficult to trust men. Smart lady. I would have told her that I had no interest in a relationship, and just wanted a little company. But she made the last call putting the ball in my court and I knew I would never call her.



It seems that after I left our mutual employer, Adelle paid a lawyer to draft a new Will and other estate planning documents that superseded the ones I had drafted for her, gratis. The new documents gave me total control of her estate and directed any interested parties (i.e. medical examiners) to contact me in the event anything happened to her. Now I had a funeral to plan, an estate to probate, a mother to contact and a lengthy murder trial ahead of me. Not to mention that blood-soaked mattress.